Are Holidays Stressing You Out? Part One

Hello my dear friends,

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It is difficult to believe by looking outside that we are just few days away from Christmas Eve! I am really not sure what to compare this weather of rain, frost and thaw to. And the little snow we got early Saturday morning is gone! Some will agree with me that having mild spring temperatures at the end of December is nice but it will be great to have some snow on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! We live in Canada after all! Well, all I can do is to put a good word with the main man himself, Santa?

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And since during this time of the year we are bombarded with TV and Radio ads and questions from family, friends and others about our readiness for Christmas, I would like to ask you just one question
- are holidays stressing you out?

Of course I know there will not be one answer to my question and if you know me well, you know that discussion is in-order. Maybe a little one-sided for now but I am sure you'll have something to add. So, let's begin!

Christmas is my favorite time of the year! I grew up in Russia and during that time we did not celebrate this holiday, New Year was the BIG one! This was the time when we decorated the tree and the house, spent time with family and exchanged presents. It has changed now and Russia celebrates Christmas just like Canada. A little trivia for you - it is celebrated on January 7th. So, I'll be off till the mid-January, but perhaps this is another post... Back to our story now.

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I was however introduced to celebration of Christmas in 1995 - my first year in Canada. It was a magical and exciting time: it was my son's and my first Christmas - "Canadian" Christmas. There was a beautiful and fragrant live tree, lots of pretty lights and of course many presents. It was time to learn Christmas and family traditions, try a lot of new food and open lots of presents. It was fun!!!!

But as years went by, I had a slightly different and confused sense about the celebration. I still loved Christmas time with the tree, the lights and the presents, but I also noticed that there were a lot more grumpy people. They were complaining about the traffic, the lines in the stores, the fact that they could not decide what to wear to the next Christmas party, the fact that they had to visit their in-laws, the fact that they ate too much at the last Christmas party and of course the fact that they spent too much money. And there was only one word to describe all that was happening to them - holidays were stressing them out!

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It puzzled me for years! And yes, at some point I fell into that trap as well. But I was lucky enough to realize that this was a wrong approach to the holidays and Christmas spirit. And what I though in the past was a disadvantage for my son and me, now recognized as blessing in disguise.

You see, since I am not your "normal" person, there were many financial struggles over the years. That of course always added some stress during Christmas time. The other fact is our family is very little - it consists of my son and me. Yes, Daniel has his Dad's side of the family of course but it is not that big either. And my family is still in Russia and has been reduced over the years as well. So, I mostly did not have to make many choices but work with what I had.

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Some might say: "Lucky you!". And you know what, I would agree! Those disadvantages taught me what are the most important aspects of Christmas. To me it is not about getting or giving the biggest and most expensive present, it is not about hitting the hottest parties in the hottest spots wearing hottest attire. To me it is about giving, appreciating what you have and reaching out and spending time with your family and friends! It is about LOVE! And LOVE should not be stressful!

So, I would like to share few tips on making your Christmas a little less stressful. We are going to start with a list of things to consider before Christmas:

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1. What are your plans? Are you staying in town or leaving? Are you hosting a party? Are you hosting a family dinner? Are there number of events that you have been invited to?
2. Do you have special family traditions? Do you have special plans for Christmas dinner? Are you cooking Christmas dinner or a contributor to one? Do you have "special eaters" in your dinner party?
3. What people on your list you would like to visit or connect with before, during and just after Christmas? Are they family or friends? Do some need a special visit this year?
4. What are you plans for presents this year? Do you have children? Do you have a large family? Do you have any special projects or charities to consider this year?
5. What are your plans for "you time"?

I believe those are the most important items to consider. They cover plans, food, people, presents (aka budget) and "you time". If I have forgotten anything I am sure you will quickly remind me. And thank you!

"Well, this is all wonderful and fantastic," you might say: "but what about your tips for dealing with all of the above?". They are on their way and you can read about them tomorrow.... I believe I've already dropped a lot to consider on you today!

So for now, I hope you enjoyed reading first installment. Here is my request, please send me other questions or items to consider. If I have not covered them yet, I will do my best to include them in tomorrow's post. In the meantime please share and remember....

Be Active! Be Involved! Be a Current Woman!

Let It Go Part Three

Hello my dear friends,

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The publication of this post could not have come at a better time! As the new moon and partial solar eclipse upon us, this is a perfect opportunity to continue our Let It Go discussion. And so, as mentioned in Let It Go Part Two, I will elaborate on the tips that have been provided in the last post.

So, I believe I'll jump right into our discussion without my regular prelude. And of course we will start with tip number one:

1. Always focus on positive! Remember the good times! 

I would like you to read the above and really think what it means to you. It is very easy to do the above if it was a positive experience that you have to let go off (remember that time at the party?). But what if it was a negative experience, where is the positive in this case? Well, if you are letting it go that probably means that you are no longer in that negative situation and now you are in the process of working through the consequences. You are alive and hopefully healthy and moving on! An example can be a serious illness that you overcome. The positive would be the support and care you received during the time of illness that brought you to today. Remember the good times! 

2. Think of the lessons you've learned. All the negative has positive!

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Does this even need a more detail explanation? I believe the above sentence says it all. But I will expand  a little. Even if you think there is no way that one particular negative experience has absolutely nothing positive to offer, there is a lesson to learn from that experience. And so with that, I will take an example from my own life (and this might apply to many of our children or us). At his second birthday, Daniel's grandmother made him a beautiful cake and it was decorated with some new toys (small cars) and candles. As he sat in the highchair, the group of adults sang Happy Birthday and brought out the cake with lit candles that was placed in front of Daniel. Being a little boy who was fascinated with

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cars he automatically reached out to grab one of them and to the horror of all the adults burnt his little hand. The poor little guy started crying and all of the adults were trying to figure out how could this happen. It was not the most pleasant experience for my son or us, his family, and all of us would like to forget that.  But we all learned lessons: Daniel learned that if you touch the fire with bare hands you get burned and we, adults, learned that when presenting a cake with lit candles to a very young child, you have to take more control of presentation and placement of "special effects". This is a very simple example but it shows you that all the negative has positive.

3. Take time to analyze/rest/grieve, but don't get stuck! Life will not wait for you! 

It will be rather cruel if I am to say just forget about it and move on. It is not that easy! We are human beings and no matter how emotionally developed or undeveloped we are, we get

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attached. We get attached to things, people, feelings and sensations. And it is only normal to take time with the act of dis-attachment. So, take your time to analyze, rest or grieve. But try to  put a time frame on this process and do few things each day to help you progress towards that deadline. It could be very difficult to do so in case of a death of loved one or someone close to you but it is important to work through this. You have to remind yourself everyday that you are still here and there is a reason for that. Perhaps, you might be the person who has to continue the legacy of the deceased and it will not work so well if you're stuck. 

4. And finally LET IT GO! It is past! You cannot change it!

Once again, I believe the sentence above says it all. The only item I would like to add is for you to watch your "would have" and "should have".  Remember, you "might have" and "could have" but for whatever reason you "did not". And at times the decision or outcome was

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not even in your control. So, whatever happened happened. And at this time we do not have a time machine to take us back and fix whatever it is you would like to fix. But also think of the effect it might have on your future life if you had the ability to change things. Think "Back to the Future"! I know that I would not change a thing in my life. Yes, I have been through a lot but I am very pleased with the person I am today. And I thank my past experiences for that! So, think twice before you start building that time machine. And let go of the "would have" and "should have'. These phrases have a negative ring to them. Focus on "I will" and "I should".

So how do you feel? Was my elaboration helpful to you to decipher the Let It Go tips? A penny for your thoughts! 

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I really hope that this post helped you to continue your journey of clearing your life of things, people, feelings and emotions that are no longer serving good to your human nature. They are in the past. Respect them and let them be. They are just that, your past experiences, that are part of your life. And you can always revisit them for the purpose of sharing your lessons learned but please DO NOT GET STUCK! You already let them go!

Thank you once again for stopping by and your valuable time. And please do not keep me a secret! We are on a constant road to personal growth and development. So let's make room for new experiences! And with new moon upon us make that list of things you desire, it's time for new beginnings! Just watch for that Mercury retrograde!  In the mean time....

Be Active! Be Involved! Be a Current Woman!