Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Battle, Round 1

I think it is very appropriate to talk about battles right at the beginning of the year. Violence is not my thing so there would not be a discussion about which AK is better, or who started the fight, or who is wrong or right for that matter.

The battle we will be discussing today is our internal struggle with who we are vs who are we trying to be vs fitting into a societal standard.

You might go like: "Say whaaaat?" and of course I will go like: "Here girlfriend, let me tell you all about it."

Hmmmm....Where should I start? How about my identity: Tomboy vs Girly Girl. Yes, for those who know me well have come to accept the fact that I changed. Growing up I was always looking up to my cousin Misha (I actually consider him my brother since we grew up together and were very close, hi Cuz!). He was year and a half older than me and so experienced everything before me: riding a bike, staying up late, going to school and of course learning English. I wanted to be like him! So it was not a surprize for my parents when I had numerous injuries doing boys things and then wanting boys toys (Doll? No thank you! But I would like that toy gun please!) and not particularly liking to wear a dress. And then came school years and my Mom always knew where to find me when she came back from work - playing soccer or hockey in the yard with boys.

Years went by and here we are in 2015! If you ask me now if I want to be like my cousin my answer will be: "Hell NO!!!!!"(no offence Cuz) Sure men do not have to deal with many things women do (women got a short end of the stick in some areas of physiology) but do we have some power! Just think about it: get your hair done, get your nails done, wake up those eyelashes, paint those lips red, push-up bra, stockings, little black dress and four inch heels! Girl I like to be you right now!!!!

And how about powerful business suites? Angela Merkle and Hillary Clinton - thank you ladies! Did someone say GIRL POWER?

I realize that there is nothing wrong with being feminine. I am still the same courageous person that I was when I guarded the net playing hockey with boys. I am still the same tough person that I was when I was falling out of the trees. I am still the same smart person that I was when I was winning physics competitions in school. And yes I am still the same strong person that I was when I was beating boys in various sports activities.

It is funny, I did not like to play with dolls when I was little and growing up in Russia did not know anything about Barbie. Now, I collect Barbie dolls (well, not the ones you can play with, they are still in the boxes). There is something very powerful about her! Yes, some ladies might suggest that I fell of the roof and hit my head because her and her life style are very unrealistic.

But ladies, she is a doll! So, it is all about the presentation! I see drive, ambition, confidence, determination and of course some "Oh my God! Totally!". And we all can use some of the later, it will help us to relax because let's admit, we work damn hard for everything in life! And don't get me started on things we have to put up with!

How about the dresses? Barbie has her own closet full of clothes! Brilliant! What a great idea for a young girl to learn dressing up! And what about creativity? Fantastic way for a girl to find her style! If I had a daughter I would most certainly buy her a Barbie and introduce the doll in the appropriate way.

So, who won you ask? Did I kill the Tomboy in me? No, he is alive and well and does come out to play once in awhile.

What I am trying to say here is that I finally feel that I am in balance with my identity. Society is very quick to place us in one group or the other. But I disagree. We all have different sides to us and I do not see the reason to choose one over the other. Trust yourself and get to know you. And then each personality will come out at the appropriate time.

With this I confirm that Round 1 is completed and it is a tie. Difficult to believe that highly competitive person like me is not calling a winner but I realize that life is about balance.

I would love to know your thoughts on this battle and hear about yours.

Round 2 will not be far behind, so in the meantime remember

Be Active! Be Involved! Be a Current Woman! 

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